My weekend consisted of watching the OSU game (GO BUCKS!!!), being lazy on my couch all day sunday and viewing the entire first and second season of scrubs. And oh, and battling an allergic reaction. See how I just tossed that in there? How I was all calm, cool and collected about it, like, “pshaw, it was nothing my face swelled up and I resembled a tomato with lots of bumps and OHMYGOD the ITCHING! The ITCHING! and I scared little kids when I went to CVS and Walgreens to find something, SOMETHING dear God calm it down and HALP me jaysus!”

I may or may not be doped up on Benadryl right now.

As you can see, obviously totally cool and collected about being so freaking scary looking I can’t even look in the mirror! But where was I. Oh yes, weekend.

Yeah. That was fun. As I said, something didn’t agree with me (I’m guessing my new sheets/borrowed detergent). I looked ridic. Red splotches and bumps all over my face and neck. Earlobe too. Have you ever seend the movie Hitch? Yeah. That was me. Almost. In fact, I even asked M if I should market a “Leprosy Barbie” for sick kids. He told me that it might not go over so well. I so disagree. He’s just jealous of my great idea. Totally.

In other news, one of my blog crushes Kristy, emailed me and get this?!!! She totally made me illustrations for my keys story. Which I will obviously share with you. Because helllllo, they are too good not to. And let me tell y’all, it is hard to draw those things. I tried to draw an illustration of Leprosy Barbie and what she did on Sunday and well…let’s just say…my stick figures were a little..well…yeah. It’s hard to do. I spent like, three hours playing and drawing because I really wanted to illustrate my Sunday keys story (yes, another one, BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY LISTEN TO MY OWN ADVICE OH SO VERY WELL) when I happened to misplace my keys on the Walgreens checkout counter. I BLAME the BENADRYL. I was drugged! Overdosed! I cannot be held accountable for my actions! Anyway.

Enjoy the “tres artistique” illustrations by the lovely Kristy, and happy Monday folks. And a lesson for the day: Benadryl is not something that should be taken liberally. No matter how much you want your scary, scary inflamed and itchy and bumpiness to go away.

Blogging Barbie: A Self Portrait.

(She totally captured the essence that is me. If you knew me in real life? Yeah. Self portrait bitches.)

Blogging Barbie: realizing “oh. f*ck. where the hell are my keys.”

(Please take note of the HOT yellow jcrew skirt and my Ralph Lauren boots that I want, because “hey if can’t have them in real life, might as well own them in virtual life,” said Kristy, illustrator extraordinaire.)

Blogging Barbie: acting out upon her GENIUS idea to retrieve said keys:

Yes, this pretty much encapsulates the experience and sums it up in one, beauteous picture.

The End.

****P.S. ***

So, I sold my soul to Nordstroms bought some shoes this weekend. And while I loved the first ones like many of you did, I went for a different pair, because oh, I may have wondered into the designer shoe salon, and perhaps fallen in lurve with a pair of flats that I began to DROOL OVER when I saw, and yes, the pricetag is COMPLETELY out of my range, but I went ahead and bought them anyway because they are classic! And I have been fawning over them forever! And well, every woman needs to buy herself one pair of realllly good shoes. That are a classic! and last forever! So that one day, her daughter may wear them. (OK, go with it folks. This is what I had to tell myself.) And without further ado, my way too expensive pair of shoes that I splurged on but I lovelovelove them and couldn’t live with out. (And mi madre will not know that I, oh, bought a pair of Tory Burch flats. Because then she will promptly skin me alive, rip off my arm and beat me over the head with he bloody end of it. And I will never be able to blog again and that will be very, very sad because you all will miss me so much. So, shhhh!!!! Don’t telllll mi madre!) Plus, hellllllllo, I’m going to be meeting M’s parents. I MUST LOOK LIKE A FIRST CLASS DAUGHTER IN LAW. Ahem.

(Only mine are Chocolate brown leather.)

Drool.