Well hello there Internets!

I would like to first and foremost thank you all for your kind words and genuine concern. It meant more to me than you could ever know, and I’m so glad that I chose to open up about everything. The feedback I received made me realize that I’m not the only one out there that is/has dealt with a loved one and mental illness, and your thoughts and prayers truly give me strength. I’ll continue to remain open and honest about the trials and tribulations being Blogging Barbie brings. (Yes, we’ve already discussed my love for alliteration, time and time again.)

So, since last week was such a heavy post, I’m kicking off this week with lighter thoughts and things.

See, I kinda drove 8 1/2 hours to my home in PA to spend the weekend with my mom, grandma and MOST ADORABLE PUPPY EVER. That, right there, was more therapy than money could ever buy. My mom’s hugs, my grandma’s smile and sleeping in the safe cocoon of my down comforter in my bed at home…not to mention the endless supply of kisses and hugs and laughs that my puppy gave me? Absolutely priceless. (Hi, the pup DID NOT forget me. Which ultimately pissed off mi madre, because she’s the one cleaning up after him and taking care of him now, and helllo, how is that fair he dropped her like a hot potato when I come around. Yeah, thats riiiight. He knows who his mamma isssssss. Huzzzzzah!)

Anywy, where was I. Oh that’s right. Driving. Home. 8 1/2 hours. I left Sunday night at 5pm after work and arrived in my driveway around 1am after reaching speeds that should not be mentioned in the dead of the night with no one on the interstate totally maintaining the speed limit at all times. Some people would think I’m crazy (hahaha, see how we joke about these things now?) but honestly, I love to drive. It gives me time to think. To sort out my thoughts. To put the sunroof open, blare the music and sing at the top of my lungs. To let my mind wander, and sort through the murkiness that it sometimes gets itself into. And mot of all, to recoup. To rejuvenate. To just get away. And be. I think I’ve written about this before, but whatev.

So that’s exactly what I did. I feel much better now, ready to take on the world. Or, at least not crawl under my bed with a bag of Oreos. (Hi, CDP? I had forgotten how damn good they were until I discovered the HALLOWEEN ones my mom had in the snack cabinet. YUMMMM.) So, in honor of this recoup weekend, I present to you a list of things I learned/realized along the way, as chronicled by my driving soundtrack. And just for getting through this long post, I will reward you with pictures of my super adorable puppy who shall be named “B.”

 

Don’t worry y’all, I’m not gonna jump off a cliff. Because like Jimmy Buffet said, “if we weren’t all crazy, we’d all go insane!” So, carpe diem bitches! Uh…yeah….on that note….

The Mix:
1. Feelings Show, Colbie Cailliat

Hi Colbie, you sing it girlfriend, I totally show my feelings

 

2. Looking Forward, Mandy Moore

“I’m fine..but I’m not OK…I’m looking forward to looking back on these days.” Oh so, so true. You sing it!!! I heart you and your entire CD dedicated to getting over your breakup with Zach.

 

3. Fix You, Coldplay

You know M, sometimes I wish I could sing this song to you…because after all you’ve been through. Your brother, your illness and many, many other things..it breaks my heart. Just know that when I sing along, this is for you…. “when you try your best but you don’t succeed, when you get what ou wnat what ou want and not what you need…when you feel so tired but you can’t sleep- stuck in reverse…and the tears come streaming down your face…when yo lose something you can’t replace..when you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse? Lights will guide you home….and ignite your bones…and I will try…to fix you…”

 

4. 1,2,3,4, Feist

Oh, you and your happy little tune. Makes me smile. And maybe bob my head. 1,2,3,4…..

 

5. Look After You, The Fray

Ever single note, chord and word of this songs hits me and causes me to feel emotions I didn’t know possible. Yes, this song is a crying song. But a happy crying song. Sometimes, you just need to let it all out. And sometimes, it will be in the case of a dam breaking. Or at least, it was for me.

 

6. Moon & Sun, Gomez

Thank you Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack (and La) for introducing me to these fine gentleman. This song makes me happy.

 

7. Stronger, Kanye West

Hi, My name is BB and I rock out to Kanye. Because really, whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger…

 

8. Nothing That You Are, Mandy Moore

Oh, we’re back to the I’m so mad at you I don’t know what to do with all this rage M, and this song says it perfectly It allows me to belt out at the top of my lungs: “you say that we’re one in the same, but I could never do those things you did to me….” Because hi, M. I wouldn’t. And I’m allowed to be angry at that. So excuse me while I sing along, and allow myself to get it out, get it over, and move on.

 

9. Better As a Memory, Kenny Chesney

Well, since were dealing with serious boy issues, of course it wold be during this drive that I would actuall listen to the lyrics of this song and have my mind drift back to Ken. Hi, Ken! How are you. You really need to download this song, because it truly explains everything that ou are. And what I found in M. So yes, thankyou. For being better as a memory than as my man, and I will continue to sing along ot my favorite verse, and thank the stars above I have M, even if he does f*ck up from time time to time. The verse: ” cause good-bye’s are like a roulette wheel, you never know where they’re gonna land, first you’re spinning, then you’re standing still left holding a losin’ hand, one day you’re gonna find someone, right away, you’ll know it’s true that all of your seeking’s done, Its just a part of the passing through, right there in that moment, you’ll finally understand, that i was better as a memory than as your man….better as a memory than as your man

 

10. Happy Ending, Sugarland

Everyone is looking for a happy ending. Maybe thats why we stay through the hard times…because all of us just want a fairytale.

 

11. Breathe In, Breathe Out, Mat Kearney

My new MySpace Song, and one dedicated to M. Because it’s the way I feel, despite everything. ” Breathe in, breathe out, Tell me all of your doubts, Everybody bleeds this way, just the same, Breathe in, breathe out…Move on and break down, If everyone goes away, I will stay
We push and pull, And I fall down sometimes, And I’m not letting go, You hold the other line….Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes….”

 

12. Here, Rascal Flatts

M said something very similar to the lyrics of this song to me. One of the reasons I chose to stay. One of the reasons this will be one of my favorite songs by Rascal Flatts. Sorta reminds me of one of their older songs “Bless the Broken Road.” Listen to this song, even if you don’t like country.

 

13. Silver Lining, Rilo Kiley

“I was your silver lining, and now I’m gold.” She just kicks ass. Rock out, girlchild.

 

14. Sometimes You Can’t Make it On Your Own, U2

Because really….sometimes? You can’t make it on your own.

Happy Tuesday all, I’m of to go participate in even more therapeutic driving as I have a tradeshow in CT. But guess what?! I get to meet the ever so wonderful Molly today! And boy am I excited. Yes Molls, I’m wearing a vintage pair of chocolate brown Bandolino tall boots in the honor of meeting you. Oh yes, and my “meet the parents” skirt. I know you’re all looking like a model today, so I hope I don’t disappoint you, even if I do look a tad “Equestrian Barbie.”

Yes, I planned out my outfit. Yes, I hope you like me. Yes, I can’t wait to meet you. And yes, I’m stopping now.

Here’s to (more) driving, good music and new real life friends!