I thought I needed to quit writing. So many things have been going on and it would pretty much be safe to say that my life right now resembles a cross between a Lifetime movie, Jerry Springer, and a Dr. Phil episode. With a smattering of Grey’s Anatomy for good measure.

No, seriously.

Even more so than it already was.

(How this can be possible, you may ask, I know, but go with me. Just trust.)

My life…in the past two weeks has been spinning out of control (literally) and I just about threw my hands up in the air and wanted to say “fuck it.”

But I didn’t.

(Not toally.)

I took some time. I cried. I slept. I retreated to the open arms of my amazingly supportive family and close friends.

………………………………………………………………..

I’m not healed.

(I’m not even close.)

Because this break, is deeper than one I’ve ever dealt with before. It’s a thin line going to the very centre of my being…a crack in the delicately strong china plate.

But that, is also why they make superglue.

In my case, my superglue is my amazing cast of friends, family, and those of you out there who wrote such kind words of concern, and support.

I’m trying to put myself back together. I have hope…a small, glimmering flicker of hope that things happen for a reason.

And when I do, I will be a better person for all of this.

………………………………………………………………..

So…I thought I could do it without you all. Turns out I can’t.

While it may take a little while for me to figure out the crossroads I’m at in my life right now, I realize I can’t give this up. Perhaps someday I’ll be able to verbalize and put into writing everything that happened, that led me to that decision the other day…but it’s not going to happen right now.

That being said.

I need this blog. And I found myself missing it more than I thought I would.

And I need you all, more than I ever did before.

So…I’m back. I’m so sorry for crying “wolf.”

(And to complete this selfish bitch road I’m on, toying wiht my reader’s emotions, I need all of your help.)

I need songs people. Songs that will not remind me of my past. Because if I hear the music on my iTunes library one more time I may just chuck the laptop out the window.

And that’s not good, because then I couldn’t blog.

Obvi.

So help me dear Internets. Tell me songs. Songs that give you a sense of power, ones you listen to when you’re scattered in pieces all over the floor, but are trying like hell to pick them up, and glue yourself back together.

Because right now, I need all of the stock of glue inventory I can get my hands on.

Loves. Always.

xoxo,

bb

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