You’d think with all my inane ramblings we’d be higher than volume V. But apparently, not. Let’s see. My life has been a clusterf*ck of situations and emotions lately, so we’ll see where this post takes us.

School is wonderful. I work my ass off. I love it. No, actually I ADORE it. Got my Summer I session grades, 4 A’s and 1 B+ which was tres exciting, and now I’ve begun clinical rotations. I’m currently procrastinating reviewing diabetes mellitus right now for an exam I have at 10am, but thats ok, because I say so. Also if I continue to review, I’ll jsut read the same sentence over and over again for lack of focusing and that’s not helpful to anyone, so I’m taking a bit of writing break. Please don’t think though that school is all roses and smiles though; I had a minor breakdown the other day which I briefly alluded to. It’s really scary learning all of these new things (even if you’re in a simultation lab) knowing that you have a person’s life in your hands. Changing out IVs and calculating drip rates? Yeah, that shit is going into a persons VEINS. As in, no room to screw up. Stressful. Very, very stressful. But oh so worth it.

On that note, it seems since I’m two months into my nursing program, everyone seems to want to know where I’m going upon graduation. Next steps. Because that makes sense. Obviously. To that, I say this: “you know, I used to a be a planner. And then one day, I realized….life happens. I’ll cross that bridge when it comes time to make those decisions. Until then? I’m just going to keep practicing my metrology problems, and changing out IVs, and studying pharmacology and the nursing practice, and try like hell to be the best RN I can be.  Mmmmkthxbai.”

I did, however, create a short list of places that I would entertain the idea of moving to and practicing after graduation. Let’s document them so I can look back on this, and one day laugh, yes? Yes, okay good. They are as follows (in no particular order): San Diego, Nashville, Boston, Jacksonville, Santa Monica, and somewhere in the state of North Carolina, South Carolina, Virgina, and of course, the great state of PA.

Clearly, I have a focused direction.

As for the whole man-state things and updates, it’s been a sh*tshow. Men coming out of the woodwork left and right. No, really, My recent trip to Boston had good ole Blue Eyes confessing and letting me know things like “You are my future wife.” and “I was very immature, and treated you horribly; yet you still stood by me, because you knew the real person behind that act….I can’t take back my actions, but I can say that I’ve matured along the way…I know what I want, and I want to be with you BB.” aaaaand throw in a couple “I love yous, please come back to Boston, we belong together,” and that pretty much sums up that date. Oh, and having Jadakiss’ “By my side” blaring as we cruise through the streets of Boston, hair blowing in the wind, both of us jamming out to one of OUR favorite songs. Holla.

I’m not holding my breath. We’ll see where that one goes.

As for Teddybear, my darling dearest is wonderful, but thats not going anywhere anytime in the near future. That’s what happens when despite liking each other and getting along famously, you can’t help that sometimes you’re at two vastly different life stages; the kind where no matter how much you’d like it to work, it just isn’t going to. It remains to be seen how this one will play out.

There’s also been other randoms who have seemingly popped up as well, but like I just told my friend the other day. “I’m tired. Really, I’m tired. I’m not putting forth anymore effort. None. They want me, they do the footwork, and if I’m feeling up to it? Well then, we’ll see. We. Shall. See.”

So, I guess what I’m saying is that last week I declared a man-iatus. Again. It didn’t work very well last time, But this time has promise. I swear.

Well, after that date I have on Wednesday night with a new boy I met this weekend.

Some things never change. Alright, back to the books, freaders. Happy Monday my loves!