This has been a spectacularly shitty week.
Immediately after posting about Guy shit went downhill. Well, not really. Things just aren’t happening. Because of oh, schedules that are in total discord, and that whole he’s NOT MY BF so therefore he doesn’t have to call/text me a bajillion times a day. And I have expectations and am all busy being a total girl up in my brain. And am a planner, and oh HI guys aren’t really known for working out schedules six weeks in advance trying to figure out how you can spend the most time together because of X,Y, and Z commitments.
So last night after a terrible mental WTF moment, and after a really long day and really bad testing experience (cardiology/pulmonary ICU exam, I’m looking at YOU), I took an Ambien and went to bed.
And I totally didn’t chase it with a glass of wine. Because my Pharm prof would probably be less than pleased. So no, I definitely didn’t do that. I don’t know what you speak of .
All that said, which I haven’t written about include major issues with grandma’s health, family craziness to boot, and one ROGUE NON-BF to help my sanity, have been front and center. And oh yeah, that whole trying not to fail out of nursing school thing. Pshaw.
Sidenote: this stream of consciousness post is really helping me make a case for myself that I’m dealing well with everything.
So, yeah. I’m going into shut-down mode for self preservation sake.
I’m going to retreat into little Barbie world. So I don’t end up locking myself up in a padded room.
When I collect myself I’ll be sure to tell you about phenomenal weekend with THIS lovely, amazing woman. And also, how immediately sending the text to my bff for life, “please tell me that someone will love me again someday. And I won’t be lonely forever.” The Dr. called and was very interested to hear how things are going, and where I’m going to end up after graduation, and oh, let it be known his three choices for Fellowship, and where he will most likely be, and oh,” {redacted} and {redacted}…perhaps those might be ofinterest to me and should add them to the list and I should visit {redacted} where he’s at as I’ve never been to see if I like it.”
::cue doubletake::
I’m sure your head is swimming after reading this clusterfuck of a post and to that I say, WELCOME TO MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW.
Aaaand FIN.
November 12, 2009 at 12:19 am
Sounds like you need some starbucks in a cheery red christmas cup, a cranberry bliss bar and a bubble bath. Big e-hugs to you girl.
November 12, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Oh, BB, my heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry. Please know that there are many people out there who do love you and the man you are searching for will find you. I PROMISE. Remember that you deserve someone who will build bridges for you, someone who adores you completely, and you are very wise not to settle for any less. Someday you will look back at all of these bumps in the road and be amazed you survived it all, but will recognize it was so worth it to bring you to where you need to be. Hang in there, sweetie. We are all here for you.
November 12, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Remember, there was a time when relationships were successfully forged and maintained without the existence of cell phones and text messaging. Don’t let the obsessive nature of technological communication dictate the success of your relationships. I didn’t have a cell phone for the first 5 years of my relationship, which is now a 7 1/2 (and counting) year marriage. It is possible. Don’t give up.
November 14, 2009 at 8:07 pm
1 glass of wine chases….1 box o’ wine hits like a train.
November 15, 2009 at 2:22 am
I totally hear the voic as you speak. Love the blog. Very interesting. ~ Yaya
Yaya’s Home
November 16, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Don’t give up on the doctor, my dear. If you marry him, then between the two of us, we’ll have one to write us the prescriptions and one to get us off when we’re arrested for driving around lit with a bottle of red in the console, jamming to Emmy Rossum while cruising about town (that being the A-Town, of course) with all the windows down and yelling obscenities at other people on the road who look like ex-boyfriends.
Wait, what?
November 16, 2009 at 2:09 pm
But look on the bright side! JenBun is on Facebook. That should fix everything.
November 16, 2009 at 2:44 pm
we need to meet in a random city with a view of mountains, sip local wine, and decide our next move(s)…looks like you and me, mah dear, are once again in a big ole shared boat.
November 18, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Oh girl! I went through the same thing. You are much smarter than I though! I let him choose when he was going to contact me for 3 months. We had a great relationship and then he just started calling and text less. I drove myself completly insane. I wasn’t eatting or sleeping and everytime my phone went off I had a mini heart attack. I spent pretty much everyday taking breaks at work to walk and cry my eyes out. Towards the end my married sister (who had never spent the night away from her husband) was staying with me and rubbing my back until I fell asleep. The day I ended things was the day I finally stopped crying. It sounds like you are bouncing back just fine! And you will make it after all! Keep blogging- love it!!